Punishment for mishandling the Quran

In a previous post, I listed some rules for handling the Quran. But what is the punishment for mishandling it? Well, according to Ynet news, Allah turned a Muslim girl into a dog for for just such a crime.

TAIBEH – Harsh punishment? A Muslim girl from Taibeh was punished by Allah and turned into a dog, according to rumors that have been circulating in the Arab-Israeli town this week, Arab-language newspaper Panorama reported.

According to the rumors, the harsh punishment was meted out after the girl, upset by her mother’s request to bring her the Quran as she was watching television, threw the holy Muslim book at the mother with disdain.

And this wouldn't be the first time Allah enforced such a punishment. The Quran says that Allah turned some Jews into apes for breaking the Sabbath.

And ye know of those of you who broke the Sabbath, how We said unto them: Be ye apes, despised and hated! And We made it an example to their own and to succeeding generations, and an admonition to the God-fearing. -- Quran 2:65-66

So he'd probably be more than willing to turn you into a dog (or worse) for mistreating the Quran!

Rules for handling the Quran

This is indeed a noble Qur'an ... Which none toucheth save the purified. -- Quran 56:77-79

From this passage, Muslims have developed a set of rules about how to handle the Quran. Here are some of them.

1. Make formal acts of cleaning yourself (ablutions) before touching the Quran.

2. Don't touch the Quran when you are unclean (like after touching a dog, going to the bathroom, having sex, or while menstruating).

3. Don't touch the Quran (in Arabic) unless you are already a Muslim. (It's okay for non-believers to listen to tapes or touch a translation.)

4. If you do have to touch it for some reason (and you're unclean or a non-Muslim), then wear gloves or use a cloth to keep your filthy fingers off the sacred text.

5. Never let the Quran touch the floor.

6. Don't take it into a bathroom.

7. Don't place anything else on top of it.

These rules are based on the idea that the Quran is the literal word of God, revealed to the angel Gabriel and delivered to the prophet Muhammad — none of which, of course, is true.

The Spirit of the Lord came upon him

According to the Bible, what happens when the Spirit of the Lord comes upon somebody?

Well, the short answer is this: a Spirit-possessed person usually kills things.

The phrase ("the Spirit of the Lord came upon him") occurs only 8 times (in 7 verses) in the Bible. Let's see what happens in each case.

Othniel

The Spirit of the Lord came upon Othniel and he went to war. (The same thing happened to Bush.)

And the Spirit of the LORD came upon him, and he judged Israel, and went out to war. Judges 3:10

Gideon

When the Spirit of the Lord came upon Gideon, he blew a trumpet. That sounds innocent enough (even if a little crazy). But Gideon (with God's Spirit) used the trumpet to summon soldiers to war. (For details about the war see Gideon's story: The Lord set every man's sword against his neighbor)

But the Spirit of the LORD came upon Gideon, and he blew a trumpet. Judges 6:34

Jephthah

When the spirit of the Lord came upon Jephthah, he killed his daughter as a burnt offering to pay God back for providing him with "a very great slaughter."

Then the Spirit of the LORD came upon Jephthah ... And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands, Then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the LORD's, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering. ... and the LORD delivered them into his hands. And he smote them ... And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances ... And she said unto him, My father, if thou hast opened thy mouth unto the LORD, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth. And ... her father ... did with her according to his vow which he had vowed. Judges 11:29-39

Samson

Samson had God's Spirit on him three times. Each time he kills something: first a lion, then 30 men, and finally 1000 men.

Behold, a young lion roared against him. And the Spirit of the LORD came mightily upon him, and he rent him as he would have rent a kid. Judges 14:5-6

And the Spirit of the LORD came upon him ... and slew thirty men. Judges 14:19

And the Spirit of the LORD came mightily upon him ... And he found a new jawbone of an ass ... and slew a thousand men therewith. Judges 15:14-15

Saul and David

The Spirit of God was on Saul until he refused to kill all the Amalekites as commaded by God in 1 Samuel 15:2-3. For refusing to commit genocide, God took away his Spirit from Saul, sicked "an evil spirit from the Lord" on him, and transfered his Spirit over to David, where it remained forever. (In a previous post I described some of the things a person can do when the Spirit of God comes on him.)

The Spirit of the LORD came upon David from that day forward. But the Spirit of the LORD departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD troubled him. 1 Samuel 16:13-14

And for the disbelievers, Allah has prepared a painful doom

For those of you who've never read the Quran, let me summarize it for you: And for the disbelievers, Allah has prepared a painful doom.

This idea is so important that Allah (or his prophet) repeats more than 200 times in the Quran. Here are just a few variants.

For disbelievers is a painful doom. 2:104

Those who disbelieve the revelations of Allah ... promise them a painful doom. 3:21

Give tidings (O Muhammad) of a painful doom to those who disbelieve. 9:3

Those who vex the messenger of Allah, for them there is a painful doom. 9:61

Theirs will be a boiling drink and painful doom because they disbelieved. 10:4

And that's just a sample of the 60 verses in the Quran that describe the "painful doom" that unbelevers will endure. There are also 25 "awful doom" verses, 10 "shameful dooms", 4 "dreadful dooms", 4 "dooms of fire", and another 40 or so differently named dooms. Plus 65 verses that mention just a plain old "doom" -- and a couple hundred or so that describe Hell, the Fire, etc.

But my favorite doom verse is this one (If you don't believe in hell, guess where you'll be going):

Those who believe not in the Hereafter, for them We have prepared a painful doom. 17:10

The Heroes of Faith

Tor the time would fail me to tell of Gideon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthah; of David also, and Samuel. -- Hebrews 11:32

The author of Hebrews provides a list of heroes of faith, which includes Gideon, Samson, Jephthah, David, and Samuel. These are those that all good Christians should emulate.

To help them with that, I thought I'd provide a list of their heroic actions, so they can go and do likewise.

Gideon

Gave God some really weird tests. Judges 6:36-40

Selected for his army the men who lapped water like a dog. (This test was proposed by God.) Judges 7:4-7

Tortured prisoners of war and civilians with thorns and briers. Judges 8:7, 16-17

Ordered his young son to kill prisoners of war, and then did it himself when his son refused. Judges 8:20-22

Made an ephod that "all of Israel ... went whoring after." Judges 8:27

Had many wives and concubines.Judges 8:30

Jephthah

Sacrificed his daughter to God as a burnt offering. Judges 11:30-39

Samson

Killed things whenever "the Spirit of the Lord" came upon him. Judges 14:5-6, 19, 15:14-15

Caught 300 foxes, tied their tails together, and set them on fire. Judges 15:4-5

Saw a harlot and "went in unto her." Judges 16:1

Collapsed a building and killed 3000 people. Judges 16:27-30

David

Bought his first wife with 200 Philistine foreskins. 1 Samuel 18:25-27

Killed all Amalekite men and women. 1 Samuel 27:8-11

Had many wives and concubines. 2 Samuel 3:2-5, 5:13, 1 Chronicles 14:3

Commanded his young men to kill Saul's sons, cut off their hands and feet, and hang their bodies up over a pool in Hebron. 2 Samuel 4:6-12

Danced naked, or nearly naked, in front of God and everyone. 2 Samuel 6:14, 20-23

Committed adultery with Bathsheba and then had her husband killed in battle. (To punish David for this, God killed the Bathsheba's baby boy.) 2 Samuel 11:2-27, 12:13-18

Tortured the Ammonites with fire, saws, and axes. 2 Samuel 12:31, 1 Chronicles 20:3

Samuel

Told Saul that God commanded him to kill all of the Amalekites: men, women, infants, sucklings, ox, sheep, camels, and asses. 1 Samuel 15:2-3

Told Saul that he was rejected by God as King of Israel for failing to commit genocide. 1 Samuel 15:22-23

To please God, Samuel hacks Agag in pieces "before the Lord." 1 Samuel 15:32-33

Richard Dawkins' Bible Study

Richard Dawkins's new book The God Delusion is simply fantastic. It gets my vote for the best book of the year.
Since the book has received many reviews (See, for example, A Devil's Catechism by PZ Myers), I'll not discuss it here.
But something caught my eye on page 341-3. Dawkins presents a long list of phrases from the Bible that have become a part of our literary culture, and that therefore should be familiar to us all. So I thought, what the heck, I'd list the phrases and provide links to the verses in the Bible in which they occur.

1	Be fruitful and multiply	Genesis 1:28, 9:1, 9:7
2	East of Eden	Genesis 4:16
3	Adam's rib	Genesis 2:22
4	Am I my brother's keeper	Genesis 4:9
5	The mark of Cain	Genesis 4:16
6	As old as Methuselah	Genesis 5:27
7	A mess of potage	Genesis 25:34
8	Sold his birthright	Genesis 25:34
9	Jacob's ladder	Genesis 28:12
10	Coat of many colors	Genesis 37:3
11	Amid the alien corn	(The phrase occurs in John Keats's "Ode to a Nightingale", but is not found in the KJV. Thanks Matthew for the correction.)
12	Eyeless in Gaza	Judges 16:21
13	The fat of the land	Genesis 45:18
14	The fatted calf	Luke 15:23, 27, 30
15	Stranger in a strange land	Exodus 2:22
16	Burning bush	Exodus 3:2
17	A land flowing with milk and honey	Exodus 3:8, 17, 13:5, 33:3; Jeremiah 11:5, 32:22; Ezekiel 20:6
18	Let my people go	Exodus 5:1, 7:16, 8:1, 20, 21, 9:1, 13, 10:3, 4
19	Flesh pots	Exodus 16:3
20	An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth	Exodus 21:24, Leviticus 24:20, Deuteronomy 19:21, Matthew 5:38
21	Be sure your sin will find you out	Numbers 32:23
22	The apple of his eye	Deuteronomy 32:10, Zechariah 2:8
23	The stars in their courses	Judges 5:20
24	Butter in a lordly dish	Judges 5:25
25	The host of Midian	Judges 7:8, 13, 15
26	Shibboleth	Judges 12:6
27	Out of the strong came forth sweetness	Judges 14:14
28	He smote them hip and thigh	Judges 15:8
29	Philistine	1 Samuel 17:8-57, 18:6, 19:5, 21:9, 22:10, 2 Samuel 21:17
30	A man after his own heart	1 Samuel 13:14
31	Like David and Jonathan	1 Samuel 18:1
32	Passing the love of women	2 Samuel 1:26
33	How are the mighty fallen	2 Samuel 1:19, 25, 27
34	Ewe lamb	Leviticus 14:10, Numbers 6:14, 2 Samuel 12:3
35	Man of Belial	1 Samuel 24:25, 2 Samuel 16:7, 20:1
36	Jezebel	1 Kings 16:31, 18:4,13, 19:1-2, 25:1-25, 2 Kings 9:7-37, Revelation 2:20
37	Queen of Sheba	1 Kings 10:4, 10, 13, 2 Chronicles 9:1,3,9,12
38	Wisdom of Solomon	1 Kings 4:34, 2 Chronicles 9:3, Matthew 12:42, Luke 11:31
39	The half was not told me	1 Kings 10:7
40	Girded up his loins	1 Kings 18:46
41	Drew a bow at a venture	1 Kings 22:34, 2 Chronicles 18:33
42	Job's comforters	Job 16:2
43	The patience of Job	James 5:11
44	I am escaped with the skin of my teeth	Job 19:20
45	The price of wisdom is above rubies	Job 28:18
46	Leviathan	Job 41:1, Psalm 74:14, 104:26, Isaiah 27:1
47	Go to the ant thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise	Proverbs 6:6
48	Spare the rod and spoil the child	Proverbs 13:24
49	A word in season	Isaiah 50:4
50	Vanity of vanities	Ecclesiastes 1:2, 12:8
51	To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose	Ecclesiastes 3:1
52	The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong	Ecclesiastes 9:11
53	Of making many books there is no end	Ecclesiastes 12:12
54	I am the Rose of Sharon	Song of Songs 2:1
55	A garden inclosed	Song of Songs 4:12
56	The little foxes	Song of Songs 2:15
57	Many waters cannot quench love	Song of Songs 8:7
58	Beat their swords into plowshares	Isaiah 2:4, Micah 4:3
59	Grind the faces on the poor	Isaiah 3:15
60	The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid	Isaiah 11:6
61	Let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we die	Isaiah 22:13, 1 Corinthians 15:32
62	Set thine house in order	2 Kings 20:1, Isaiah 38:1
63	A voice crying in the wilderness	Matthew 3:3, Mark 1:3, Luke 3:4, John 1:23
64	No peace for the wicked	Isaiah 48:22, Isaiah 57:21
65	See eye to eye	Isaiah 52:8
66	Cut off out of the land of the living	Isaiah 53:8
67	Balm in Gilead	Jeremiah 8:2
68	Can the leopard change his spots?	Jeremiah 13:12
69	The parting of the ways	Ezekiel 21:21
70	A Daniel in the lions' den	Daniel 6:16
71	They have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind	Hosea 8:7
72	Sodom and Gomorrah	Genesis 13:10, 14:10-11, 18:20, 19:28, Isaiah 13:19, Jeremiah 49:18, Amos 4:11, Matthew 10:15, Mark 6:11, 2 Peter 2:6, Jude 7
73	Man shall not live by bread alone	Matthew 4:4, Luke 4:4
74	Get thee behind me Satan	Matthew 16:23, Mark 8:33, Luke 4:8
75	The salt of the earth	Matthew 5:13
76	Hide your light under a bushel	Matthew 5:15, Mark 4:21, Luke 11:33
77	Turn the other cheek	Matthew 5:39
78	Go the extra mile	Matthew 5:41
79	Moth and rust doth corrupt	Matthew 6:19
80	Cast your pearls before swine	Matthew 7:6
81	Wolf in sheep's clothing	Matthew 7:15
82	Weeping and gnashing of teeth	Matthew 8:12, 22:13, 24:51, 25:30, Luke 13:28
83	Gadarene swine	Mark 5:1-13, Luke 8:26-33
84	New wine in old bottles	Mark 9:17, Luke 5:37
85	Shake off the dust of your feet	Matthew 10:14, Mark 6:11, Luke 9:5
86	He that is not with me is against me	Matthew 12:30, Luke 11:23
87	Fell upon stony ground	Mark 4:5, 16
88	A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country	Matthew 13:57, Mark 6:4
89	The crumbs from the table	Matthew 15:27, Mark 7:28, Luke 16:21
90	Signs of the times	Matthew 16:3
91	Den of thieves	Matthew 21:13, Mark 11:17, Luke 19:46
92	Pharisee	Matthew 23:6, Luke 7:39, 11:37-38, 18:10-11, Acts 5:34, 23:6, 26:5, Philippians 3:5
93	Whited sepulchre	Matthew 23:37
94	Wars and rumours of wars	Mathew 24:6, Mark 13:7
95	Good and faithful servant	Matthew 25:21,23
96	Separate the sheep from the goats	Matthew 25:32
97	I wash my hands of it	Matthew 27:24
98	the sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath	Mark 2:27
99	Suffer the little children	Matthew 19:14, Mark 10:14, Luke 18:16
100	The widow's mite	Mark 12:42, Luke 21:2
101	Physician heal thyself	Luke 4:23
102	Good Samaritan	Luke 10:30-37
103	Passed by on the other side	Luke 10:31-32
104	Grapes of wrath	Revelation 14:18-19
105	Lost sheep	Psalm 119:176, Jeremiah 50:6, Matthew 10:6, 15:24
106	Prodigal son	Luke 15:11-32
107	A great gulf fixed	Luke 16:26
108	Whose shoe latchet I am not worthy to unloose	Mark 1:7, Luke 3:16, John 1:27
109	Cast the first stone	John 8:7
110	Jesus wept	John 11:35
111	Greater love hath no man than this	John 15:13
112	Doubting Thomas	John 20:25
113	Road to Damascus	Acts 9:3-8
114	Through a glass darkly	1 Corinthians 13:12
115	Death where is thy sting?	1 Corinthians 15:55
116	A thorn in the flesh	2 Corinthians 12:7
117	Fallen from grace	Galatians 5:4
118	Filthy lucre	1 Timothy 3:3,8, Titus 1:7, 1 Peter 5:2
119	The root of all evil	1 Timothy 6:10
120	Fight the good fight	1 Timothy 6:12
121	All flesh is as grass	Isaiah 40:6, 1 Peter 1:24
122	The weaker vessel	1 Peter 3:7
123	I am the Alpha and the Omega	Revelation 1:8,11, 21:6, 22:13
124	Armageddon	Revelation 16:16
125	De profundis (Out of the depths)	Psalm 130:1
126	Quo vadis (Whither goest thou)	John 16:5
127	Rain on the just and the unjust	Matthew 5:45

David Snoke's "A Biblical Case for an Old Earth"

David Snoke is a physics professor at the University of Pittsburgh and an elder in the Presbyterian Church in America. His latest book is A Biblical Case for an Old Earth.

Facing the facts

First of all, I must say that I like the way Dr. Snoke is thinking, when he says:

We must face the facts: if the Bible is wrong, utterly wrong, about the history of our origins, then we should dump it. (p.120)

Of course the Bible is wrong, utterly wrong, about the history of our origins (and just about everything else). But Dr. Snoke is reluctant to dump it. His challenge, then, is to try to find a way, any way, to interpret the Bible so that it does not conflict with science.

In many people's eyes, I have probably lost before I begin, because no matter what I argue from the Bible, they will say, "But you have come up with this just because you want the Bible to agree with science." I freely confess to this charge. (p.9)

Saying as little as possible

Snoke's little book is remarkable for how little it says about the history of life or the age of the earth. You'd think that a book about an old earth would say how old it is. But if the author has an opinion on the subject, he doesn't say so in his book. The closest he comes is this:

In this chapter [Chapter 2: The Scientific Case] I have argued that the world looks as though animals and plants have been living and dying for millions of years. (p.43)

From which, I guess, he (sort of) thinks that life on earth is at least several million years old. It seems that Dr. Snoke, like Ann Coulter, is not particularly interested in the details.

Here are just a few questions that he doesn't address:

• How long has life existed on earth?
• How old is the earth?
• How old is the universe?
• Is the fossil record reliable and what does it say?
• How long have humans existed?
• Were all of the species created in the beginning, or did God intervene periodically by creating a bunch of new species while causing others to go extinct?

Old Earth Creationism

Throughout the book, Dr. Snoke makes it clear that although he accepts an old earth, he rejects evolution.

Many people seem to assume that if the earth is as old as science indicates, and animals have lived and died during that time, then evolution must have occurred. Not so! (p.44)

An old-earth view is not synonymous with evolution. (p.193)

...evolution, which I reject... (p.164)

Lord of the Fleas

Dr. Snoke spends two chapters on the important scientific question of whether animals suffered and died before Adam and Eve sinned. Evangelical Christians are divided on this issue. I discussed his views in a previous post (For thy pleasure they were created), so I’ll skip over them here, except to say that he believes that God purposefully designed animals to prey on one another from the very beginning.

God … is not just the way we would like him to be. We may hate the wrath of God, but we cannot say it is illogical to believe in it. What is illogical is to believe in a God who would never harm a flea when we see lots of harmed fleas around us. (p.96)

Utterly wrong non-negotiables

Dr. Snoke admits that he "wants the Bible to agree with science." But he says there are three biblical "nonnegotiables" which science cannot contradict.

1. "Adam was one, real, historical man."
   (Adam was specially created by God just like it says in Genesis. And all humans are descended from him.)

2. "Noah was one, real, historical man."
   (Snoke thinks the flood was local, making biogeography a bit less embarrassing. But he insists "that the flood killed every other person on earth except those on the ark, so that every person today is descended from one of Noah's sons.")

3. "Life in al its diversity was created by sovereign, miraculous acts of God."
   (Evolution did not occur.)

Dumping the Bible

"If the Bible is wrong, utterly wrong, about the history of our origins, then we should dump it.” His non-negotiables are utterly wrong about the history of our origins. I guess it’s time to dump the Bible.

The Book of Elvis

Well, this is big news. Elvis Presley had a copy of the Book of Mormon!

It had something to do with Donny and Marie, but for the details you'll just have to wait for the movie (The Tears of a King). Yep, they're going to make a whole damned movie on it, based on the King's copy of the worst book ever written.

Elvis' copy is now owned by the LDS church, and they say he had notes all over it. Like everywhere (there are 89 occurrences) that the word "king" is used, it is underlined.

I don't care what Penn&Teller say, you've got to be on drugs to do something like that.

A Gay Antichrist?

Remember when Jerry Falwell said that the Antichrist is a Jewish male that is alive today? Well, now we find out that the Antichrist is also gay! And it seems that the both ideas (that AC is Jewish and gay) are taken from the very same verse.

Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all. Daniel 11:37

That's a lot of mileage out of one verse!

But there shouldn't be any doubt about the identity of the antichrist. The word "antichrist" occurs only four times in the Bible, but those four verses tell us all we need to know.

Little children, it is the last time: and as ye have heard that antichrist shall come, even now are there many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time. 1 John 2:18

Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son. 1 John 2:22

And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world. 1 John 4:3

For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist. 2 John 1:7

Whoever denies that Jesus is the Christ is an antichrist. That would include all Jews, gay or straight, along with about 4 billion others. It certainly includes me.

I am a proud member of the antichrist community.