17 September 2007

It's about time someone sued God: Thanks Ernie!

A while back I counted the number of people killed by God in the Bible. I found a total of 2,270,971 (not including cases in which numbers are not given). Now you'd think that a guy with that many killings would have been accused and hopefully convicted of murder by now. Especially when the killer is so darned proud of his killings. But no. No one has ever taken God to court. Until now, that is.

But today Ernie Chambers, a Nebraska State Senator, filed suit in district court (Chambers v. God) against God for making terrorist threats and causing "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like."

To which I would add, "and admitted to the killing of 2,270,971 people."


Unknown said...

There is a dark side to this story though... the reason he is making this case is to parody a woman who is suing because she was not aloud to use the word "rape" or "victim" during the trial of the person who allegedly raped her. I don't think that's something that deserves to be made fun of.


Rob said...

Been done before. The Devil's been sued before, too. These cases don't get very far because you can't get sufficient service of process on God.

Steve Wells said...

So you don't think we can get a conviction here, Robert?

Darn! I was hoping we could apply the death penalty!

Jason said...

And Christians around the world laugh in unison... :)

Rob said...

Did you see the follow up that mysterious responses from God were found at the courthouse? Looks like some pretty ridiculous stuff.

pissed off patricia said...

But what about all the football touchdowns that he gets credit for. ;)

Matthew Blanchette said...

Finally; God gets due justice! It's about time someone sued the old geezer... :)

womensvoice said...

does anyone know about buddists as i keep being told they are non violent??
or where to look ..great blog by the way
email me annegre@aol.com

Steve Wells said...

And what would Christians be laughing at, Jason?

Christians (who believe in the Bible) believe that God killed more than 2,270,971 people.

You believe in the Bible, don't you Jason? Do you think it's funny that God killed so many people?

Jason said...

Well Steve, Christians would be laughing at man attempting to sue God. I mean come on, that's gotta raise a few chuckles even amongst the ultra-serious atheist crowd.

I'm also surprised you failed to mention that Ernie's filing "was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. He said he's trying to make the point that anybody can sue anybody." (CNN.com)

Or, for that matter, God's 'response' to the lawsuit:

"Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.

It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response..."

All in all, it's just some good old funny stuff that you're doing your best to ruin ;)

Caleb said...

What's hilarious here, Jason, is your tenuous grasp of basic conversational perception. Good job taking these comments seriously; after all, that's obviously how they were intended.

Jason said...

Glad you find me so funny, Paine. Is there any argument buried in your comment somewhere?

Caleb said...

Yes: I argue that you lack the reasonable faculties to participate in intelligent discussion, and consequently also argue that it would be in your best interest to either educate/exercise your basic conversational capabilities or to simply leave the discussion.

I also argue, as you have noted, that you are a rather unwittingly (and presumedly unintentionally) humorous person.

Jason said...

And what manner of 'intelligent discussion' has been had thus far?