20 October 2009

The Divine Guide is guiding the Conservative Bible Project

Here's a hot news item from Conservapedia.

Conservapedia was live on WNOX, "Knoxville's Big Talker," Tuesday morning at 7:05am ET for nearly an hour. The phone lines lit up during the show. One caller's statement: "People were guided by the Holy Spirit when they wrote the Bible." Answer: "People are guided by the Holy Spirit now too."

Yes, that's right, folks. The Holy Spirit is guiding Andy Schlafly and his friends as they remove the liberal bias from the Bible.

But I thought Andy renamed the Holy Spirit to Divine Guide! Which I guess would mean that the Divine Guide guided Andy to change its (his?) own name. (I wonder if Andy baptized him in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Divine Guide after renaming him.)

Still, Old What's-His-Name goes by two names at the Conservative Bible. In Mark his name is always "Divine Guide", but in John it's "Holy Spirit". I guess the Divine Guide hasn't quite made his mind up yet.


uzza said...

Back in Catholic School, he was always the Holy Ghost, which always made me giggle.

Matthew Blanchette said...

I thought that was Protestant School? At CCD (a form of Catholic Sunday school during the week), ol' Ghosty was referred to as the Holy Spirit.

Also, I get a kick out of Colbert every time he quotes the Nicene Creed on his show and ends up running through the whole rest of the statement, as if he's compelled to do it; by the Divine Guide, perhaps? ;-)

busterggi said...

Nolwadays we don't need a Divine Guide, we can pick up a cheap gps.

I Am said...

Wow, I'm gone for a month and look at everything that's happened around here. Heck, there's even a brand new Bible to dissect!

"Divine Guide" is funny, as are some of the other attempts mentioned in other posts.

The idea of the Holy Ghost is ridiculously vague to begin with. I wonder how many Christian theologians (armchair or degreed) have wished that they had never adopted the idea of the Trinity at Nicea.

Maybe Conservapedia will decide that not just the name Holy Ghost, but the whole idea should go, too. The Holy Ghost has always been the weakest of the three godheads anyway. God the father and the son both can get down to business when they want (killing men, women, and children of entire cities; damning sinners and fig trees, etc.), but that Holy Ghost is a light-weight pansy who mostly "inspires" people. How do we know it wasn't the Holy Ghost that snuck some of that liberal stuff into the Bible to begin with?!

The conservatives should axe the Holy Ghost and reduce the Trinity to a manly Father-Son duopoly.