13 July 2011

The Bible's solution to the debt crisis: First Timothy 5 - 6

Republicans and Democrats just can't seem to find a solution to the debt crisis. That's because they are ignoring what the Bible has to say about it. Because the perfect compromise can be found in 1 Timothy 5 and 6.

Chapter 5 should please the Republicans.

The author (I'll call him "Paul" since that's who he claimed to be, though he probably wasn't) explains precisely who should, and who should not, be helped. His focus was on widows, but the same principles could be applied to all.

The first thing Paul does is distinguish between "widows indeed" and other types of widows. Widows indeed (true widows) should be honored (given public assistance).

Honour widows that are widows indeed. 1 Timothy 5:3

But which widows are "widows indeed?"

Paul has a list of ten requirements. A widow is a widow indeed if she:

  1. Has no living children or nephews. (If the widow has any living children or nephews, it is their responsibility to take care of her.)
    But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents. 1 Timothy 5:4
  2. Is desolate, trusts in God, and prays all the time.
    Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. 1 Timothy 5:5
  3. Is not living in pleasure.
    (A widow living in pleasure is the living dead.)
    But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. 1 Timothy 5:6
  4. Is over 60 years old.
    Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old. 1 Timothy 5:9a
  5. Had only one husband.
    (A woman who has buried two husbands wouldn't qualify.)
    Having been the wife of one man. 1 Timothy 5:9b
  6. Has raised children.
    (No barren or selfish, childless women need apply.)
    If she have brought up children. 1 Timothy 5:10
  7. Has lodged strangers.
    If she have lodged strangers. 1 Timothy 5:10
  8. Has washed the saints' feet.
    If she have washed the saints' feet. 1 Timothy 5:10
  9. Has relieved the afflicted.
    If she have relieved the afflicted. 1 Timothy 5:10
  10. Has diligently followed every good work.
    If she have diligently followed every good work. 1 Timothy 5:10

Applying Paul's rules for widows would greatly reduce the number of widows that would qualify for public assistance. The same approach when extended to all seniors would result in the 1 Timothy 5 plan for Medicare -- which is the Paul Ryan plan. (No medicare at all.)

The money that is saved from the 1 Timothy 5/Paul (the Apostle) Ryan Medicare Plan could be applied to reducing the deficit -- or (more likely) giving tax cuts to wealthy individuals and corporations ("the job creators"). The "public assistance for job creators" plan should easily pass the House. I think it already has.

And now for the Democratic Plan.

It can stated in just two verses from 1 Timothy 6.

Charge them that are rich ... that they be ... ready to distribute. 1 Timothy 6:17-18

OK, never mind. Screw the compromise. Let's just go with 1 Timothy 6 plan. (If we can stay away from the first two verses, that is.)


Anonymous said...

I could get behind the Timothy plan. It makes more sense than Obama's null plan. I realize you are poking fun at ideas like "God won't be mocked." Hypothetical entities don't care about mockery. Unfortunately arithmetic will not be mocked! Eventually our delusional government finances will be brought into balance one way or the other. A default might be the only way our inept ruling class will learn some basic economics.

nazani said...

I don't think they'll go to this extreme. More likely they'll just step up the anti-vaccination campaign (or defund the CDC) and wait for a flu to cull the number of people who get entitlements.

Unknown said...

Yet another reason 1st Timothy is the worst book in the New Testament.